Once upon a time, my alarm clock used to ring at 5:05 every weekday morning. At least, it did theoretically.
I would roll over at 4:57 and count down the minutes until 5:04, which is when I’d allow my hand to hover over my alarm’s reset button. This way I could hit the button as soon as the minute rolled from 4 to 5. Thusly, my alarm never really went off for more than half of a beep. No, I don’t like alarm clocks.
I’d stumble out of bed, blindly making my way to the bathroom, not turning the light on until I was safely inside with the door closed. Showered, dressed, and downstairs in under fifteen minutes.
I’d make boy’s lunch, sitting his lunch box on the dining room table next to his back pack. I’d eat my breakfast while making the lunch that I’d eventually set down next to a stack of papers, both the graded and the oh-God-please-don’t-make-me-have-to-read-anymore-of-these kinds.
Then I’d write a note. Something usually along the lines of:
Today is Friday. I hope that you have fun in art class this morning. Be good today. I will see you tonight, and I love you very, very much.
I’d go upstairs, tape the note to his wall, kiss him on his head, and then go say goodbye to the sleeping husband.
Once upon a time, I’d walk out of my home at 5:50 in the morning, and, on most days, I wouldn’t walk back into it until more than twelve hours later.
Today, I rolled over at 4:57 in the morning. I watched the clock until it read 5:04 am, and then I got up. I did not stumble blindly out of bed to take a shower. Instead, I walked downstairs and took the dog outside. When she was finished, I let her back into the house, turned off the outside porch light, and went back outside to stare at the sky.
I have not seen a sky like that in almost 15 years. There was no moon to be seen, and the sky just glowed. As I was staring up, a shooting star flashed across the sky right over my head, and I caught myself smiling.
There will be no alarm for another hour, and despite the fact that I still have a schedule to follow, I will not be the one turning it off today.